The Journey continues…

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Well, how was your holidays? Fulfilling? Chaotic? Maybe even remarkable? I had everything I could ever want right under one roof, my family. I adore having my kids around, cooking for them, watching movies, playing games, but there was one thing I truly wished I had… my husband.

 

I keep thinking as the days pass it’s going to get easier, but once the holidays transpired, my heart grew heavy with grief. So many memories cling to me like a ghost haunting an empty house. And, maybe my grief sprouts more because I compare my boyfriend to him. Some may say it was way too soon to jump into a new relationship.

Maybe.

But, nonetheless here I am. My youngest son, Nick, totally enjoys their time together and seeing him smile and laugh again gives me hope. Children living with autism (from my experience) are so hard to connect with sometimes. They’re usually in their own world and completely happy being fixated in that world. So, when I say I’m given hope every time I see my son laugh or joke with that twinkle in his eyes, I become so determined. Determined you may ask? What do you mean?

As of right now, I am currently reading two books Cure Your Child With Food by Kelly Dorfman and Healthy Healing by Michelle Steinke- Baumgard. I’ve researched a lot over the years and knowing certain things can trigger a slew of unwanted behaviors in our children, one of which I recently came across was artificial food dyes. Oh yes, the wonderful dyes, any color including red No. 40, red No. 3, yellow No. 5, yellow No. 6, green No. 3, and even the blue No 1, blue No. 2.  I talked with our private physician and he agreed to remove all of them out of our diet. Easy? It was a little time consuming, but once you get the hang of it, which we did, I saw such a big difference in my son.  Small steps. And that’s what this piece is about, to hear my son tell me good morning, maybe even a hug and then, he goes on about his day, makes me one happy mother! Just that, two words or one simple act of kindness. So, every day I strive to learn and focus on what’s important.

While on this journey of mine, my best friend recommended a book to me, Healthy Healing, I had mentioned it above. And as I was reading, the author tells you her story, her story about how she lost her husband. The entire time I’m reading I keep whispering to myself, don’t cry, don’t let the words I’m reading affect me, keep it together!

 

But I just couldn’t do it. Tears flooded and my heart breaks for her, I can relate to pretty much everything she’s experienced. Her story is told with a disheartening beauty, simply because you know she loses someone she loves. In a passage she states, basically, “you purchased this book because you’re looking for strength and hope.” I am and since the holidays have faded into another year without him, I have started to truly wonder what my purpose is, what is my “thing?” Which is what the author calls it in her book.

 

So, in part of the healing experience, perhaps this will help, and hopefully, I can do this in one sitting and tell you my story…

I had been working on a story titled Midnight (some of you may know what I’m talking about), my goal was to make it the second installment to a previous book I had written. I had been locked away that day, typing as fast as my fingers would allow, totally absorbed in the story when my husband had come in with dinner. He always made dinner before he went to work and just like any other evening he sat beside me and listened to what I had written for the day. And as usual, he would ask questions, offer ideas and listen to the music I would play while I wrote.

I remember him laughing at a particular scene and for a moment I felt like time stood still for us. He was so easy to talk to, it was effortless to love him. If I had become unsure about how a character or how a scene should play out, he would always talk me through it. And in doing so he built up a confidence in me that encouraged me to march onward.

Before he changed clothes, he played with our youngest son, tickling him with the scruff of his beard. The room filled with giggles and laughs and then he leaned over and kissed me goodbye, little did I know it would be our last kiss.

On August 12, 2015 Chris left for work, as usual he wrote his first email of the night to me letting me know he made it okay.

Sent: Wednesday, August 12, 2015 7:03 PM
Subject: Hi Darlin
Hello Darlin,
I made it here, but if I start feeling bad I might come home early, it just depends on how I feel. So far, so good.
I sure do love your writing and you have mad skills with your story. I love every drop of it and can’t wait to read more.
I miss you
I replied back, he hadn’t felt good and it always made me anxious. He emailed me about five more times and we conversed throughout the night. At 2:45 I started receiving phone calls, Chris had left work and about a couple of blocks away he turned around and headed back to the job site. As soon as he parked the car he told one of the security guards there he was having trouble breathing. He took a few moments asking the guard to stay with him. And as they looked up Chris commented about the Perseids meteor shower, it was the last thing he saw before he passed away.
Shortly after I arrived at the hospital and I remember waiting in the emergency room alone. I held onto hope, thinking maybe now, we will know what was making him feel so bad. I sat and watched life flight leave, readying myself to soon follow, because in my heart I just knew he would be okay. He was going to be fine, I must have said those words over and over a thousand times inside my head.
But no one came to tell me that, instead the hospital security ushered me into a side room. It was small, plain and isolated. Still I carried no doubt in my mind, I anxiously waited for someone, a doctor, a nurse to tell me he was in surgery or something. But, once the room filled up with nurses and the same security guards, my heart started to beat a little faster. A tall, slender woman walked in, a stethoscope dangled around her shoulders, she knelt down beside me and that’s when I saw the tears in her eyes.
She spoke softly, and told me my husband had passed away, they did everything they possibly could. And as she delivered her words I felt so detached. Like it wasn’t me sitting there, it wasn’t me hearing what was being said. I remember a pile of tissues were handed to me, but I couldn’t feel the tears that streamed down my face.
From that point on, it felt like an out-of-body experience was happening to me, I was asked to see him and I said no. I wanted to remember him when he was getting ready for work that night. Full of life, smiling, I didn’t want to change that image of him. With numb hands I held the last of his things, his shoes, belt, his watch I had got him for Christmas that year, and his wedding ring.
When it came time, I was escorted back into the emergency waiting room, and still there wasn’t a soul in there. It was so quiet I could hear the creak of the chair as I sat down. One of the hospital security guards came over, asked if he could sit with me while I waited for the sheriff’s deputy to come pick me up. We sat in silence for a few minutes, and then he said, you’re going to be okay. My thoughts inside couldn’t imagine how I would ever be okay. He went on to tell me that he had also lost someone dear to him, his wife several years ago, he raised his children and eventually met someone new.
I tried so hard to be polite, tried to appear like I was listening to his story, but the very thought of moving on without Chris was unbearable. Unimaginable. I thought how could anyone say this to me? I clung to his things even harder and practically ran to the deputy’s truck when I saw it drive up. I watched the streets pass by not really hearing a word the deputy was saying, I felt as if my heart had been shattered into a million pieces. My mind scattered into various thoughts, all flooding me at once.
Once I arrived back home, I made sure my tears were gone and I told myself to be strong for my children. The rest of the early morning was a blinding blur of phone calls and deciding on different factors. One of which was making the decision of him being a donor, my middle son and I decided together. My husband was able to help three other lives that night.
My life, our life had been washed away by a tide I never saw coming. I learned that everyone handles grief differently, I also grew more appreciation for the little things in life. It’s been two years, five months and twenty-five days since I last saw his face, kissed his lips and felt his embrace. I have kept everything he has written, even his last emails, and this was the last thing he wrote before I received the call.
I love you and will be home shortly.

 

 

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Writing goals for 2017!

It’s amazing to think it is 2017! Where has the time gone? I ask myself this every single day, and everyday I plan to accomplish a word count or a scene, half a scene or something! But, and I hate to say it my writing groove has vacated the premises. I realize since August 2015 things haven’t been quite the same, and without him it’s been quite a challenge for me to commit whole-heartedly to writing.

How does one pick up after losing your number one confidant? I mean he’s the reason I started the journey of writing. Midnight (the second book in the No Death for the Wicked series) was the last book he was reading, so in saying all this Memoirs of a Superhero will be my first novel without his loyal support and his loving encouragement.

Don’t get me wrong. My heart still beats  fervently for writing and I have a couple of stories brewing inside me, but if I can stick with my goals for this year, like completing Memoirs of a Superhero. And pursuing  Mary Jane (the next installment in the Deadwood short stories) and Citeron (book two in the Veil Realms series), well I think you get the picture – it’s time to get the ball rolling!

So without further ado, here’s a little snippet of Memoirs of a Superhero –

“Lacey? I think Mia might reschedule for this weekend and you haven’t been to Mr. Lockwood’s residence yet…would you consider it?” Remi questions, she eases back in her chair donning a candid grin. All eyes fall directly on me and before I can protest and throw in all my analytical reasons, Remi points her long pink painted nail at me and chides, “You work the desk night and day, Lacey, and we think you need a break from the office.”

“We?” I query pushing my glasses farther up the bridge of my nose. I roam my eyes around the break room, not sure how this even came about, my role behind the desk has been cyclical, maybe even trite at times. A thought surfaces to my mind as I guzzle down the rest of my coffee, my life is structured by the book, straight and orderly. Precisely, from seven to five I’m a business owner. After hours, I make excuses as to why I can’t meet for drinks or late night dinners. My time is consumed with cheats and low-lives stalking the streets of Fairwater. And as of late, things crime wise, have been rather dull. Exactly the same for my love life, dismally and pathetically dull. I step over to the sink and rinse out my  coffee mug debating with who would be a better candidate than myself. “Remi, don’t you have one other client early Saturday morning? Mr. Lockwood’s appointment isn’t until five-thirty…”

“Oh, Lacey… don’t start to pencil me in just yet,” Remi replies jumping to her feet, her full-figured hip leans against the counter-top. “I have plans remember? Rob’s taking me to a concert Saturday night, besides we all think you need to check out Mr. Lockwood’s place.” Her arms fold over her chest as she quietly nods, urging everyone around us to agree. The room strums with approval.

“We?” I mumble again. “I know what you’re trying to do Remi—”

“What? Take a peek at a guy that looks too good to be true?”

I wave toward the laptop, the same laptop still showcasing his handsome face and explain, “I already know what he looks like…”

She moves closer. “But with his shirt off?”

“What?!” My brows scrunch together in surprise, my cheeks warm with heat and I can’t seem to do anything else except blink. “Wha—whenwhy were you watching him get dressed?” I mumble out.

She taps a nail along her forearm and says, “He was undressing.” She emphasis the un part with a growing smile and adds, “I had just brought Nibs home from our evening walk and he barreled past me slinging off his shirt and ran upstairs. I wasn’t sure if I should go see where the fire was, but for a split moment I knew there was a God because I had just been graced by the most well-defined man on the planet.”

Mia pipes in, “I wasn’t as lucky, but last weekend I was hanging Nibs’ leash up in the foyer when I noticed clothes flung all across the floor. His expensive Stefano dress shoes were chucked off to one side and then there were his slacks, jacket and shirt sprinkled all over the steps. The way it looked to me, he wasn’t alone and whoever she was did an amazing job of stripping him down.”

“And why is this any concern of ours? I smirk trying to act aloof. This is the last thing I need in my life, a charismatic, attractive egocentric male parading his manliness around.

“Don’t you think he sends off this vibe like he’s some sort of lone wolf? A riddle to be solved?” Donna quizzes standing up. She tips her short pixie cut blonde hair to one side and glances at the screen. “He’s single, never been married, moved here just a few months ago and owns some sort of notable technology company.” She sits on the edge of the table tallying off each point. “His company doesn’t even reside here…”

“So?” I state and walk toward the laptop. “It’s his business, he can operate anywhere in the world, that doesn’t necessarily make him an anomaly.” I tap a few keys and close his profile. “But, just to prove a point that there’s nothing riddling about this man I’ll go.”

Donna runs her hand down my forearm, her neatly trimmed brows lift as she offers, “Lacey, believe me when I say, some men make sense, some are work driven slaves, some have their secret addictions, sex, drugs to online pornography, but Mr. Lockwood, he’s something entirely different and you’re—

“And I’m going to come back Monday morning and tell you he’s nothing more than a boring reclusive man.”

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Memoirs of a Superhero – coming soon!                                     Copyright © 2017 Karli Rush

Let Your Heart Drive – Release!

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Synopsis 

“The story of life is quicker than the wink of an eye, the story of love is hello and goodbye.” – Jimi Hendrix

I live in the shelter of darkness.

This darkness holds a secret over me… one that I have come to protect and in return it controls and holds me back.
It’s time to start fighting against it and break free. To become the unrestricted woman I yearn to be. For this to happen it will take a sixteen hundred mile road trip to let go of all that I fear and hopefully discover that the darkness doesn’t lurk everywhere. I stand on the edge overlooking a horizon of possibilities for the first time. Will I let my heart drive… to where it needs to be?

A unique romantic tale of one girl, one road, and a chance meeting with someone that will change everything in every way.

Disclaimer – This book is intended for mature audiences only.

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Available on Amazon Now!

My Lovely Blog ~ Blog Tour

Welcome to my blog tour

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I would like to say thank you so much to Virginia McKevitt, she’s an amazing woman and just as amazing as a writer. She writes in the world of Paranormal fantasy, Science fiction, Teen and Young Adult, her Fractured series The Secret Enemy Saga is a must read! And I thank you for  tagging me to join in this blog tour. You can check out Virginia and get to know her here – http://virginiamckevitt.com/

My first/favorite memories –  riding

I grew up more or less as an only child, being raised by my Grandmother and Great Grandmother, but after church I would spend time with a rodeo family. There were four sisters and me. Reggie and Brandy were my best friends. Her daddy was a Veterinarian. They had horses… and I loved them so much. So, after church we’d draw straws to see who rode what horse. I always seemed to get Bolo, he was very “spirited”. There was no telling what might get him going.

So, one Sunday we raced out to the barn and were so excited that we didn’t even saddle them. They all had reins, but no saddle. Bareback, we rode to an old dirt racetrack and imagined the announcer over the crooked intercom speaker saying our names and the horses as we would stage for an impromptu race.

About that time, Reggie’s mom pulled up across the field and we all started racing toward the old Ford Bronco. We jumped two ditches on the way to her mom, but on the third and final one, Bolo stubborned up on me and he started bucking. Now talk about being scared, I hooked my hands into his mane, because the reins didn’t do a thing. I held on for what seemed to be forever, then he stopped, but the last buck slid me right off of his back and on to the ground.

I was white as a sheet, completely terrified. Reggie’s mom walked over to Bolo, grabbed his reins, laughing at me so hard I thought she’d stop breathing. Then she straightened up and looked at me. “Alright girl, get back up here and ride Bolo back to the barn, unbridle him, brush him down and feed him.”

My eyes were as big as a full moon, but scared or not, I wasn’t telling her “no” so I got back up, brushed myself off  and rode him back to the barn.  I guess she taught me that day to always get back up.

My Books & My Library

My Library My Library is my own collection of Stephen King novels, some are like new, but a few in here are actually missing their cover, sadly. When I hit my teens I discovered Stephen King paperbacks, and just like horses, I couldn’t get enough. Thinner was the first one to start the avalanche of dark stories. One of the problems I ran into was having quiet time to read. You would think being the only child in a house with my grandmother that it wouldn’t be a problem, but it was. I sought out the only place in town that people would, one, not look for me and two, if someone did show up they would never think to bother me.

My LibraryThis is the actual graveyard I used to go to when I needed to get my fill of reading. It was quiet and I think since I was reading Stephen King, that no one there really minded.

Learning

Okay, first off I don’t want everyone to think that I’m on a morbid streak, but I’m simply stating facts. My first school was Sequoyah Elementary and it was built on top of an Indian graveyard. They tried to exhume all the graves, but missed a few. The original building was torn down and more bones were found during the new construction. They just tossed the bones into the new foundation and there are still graves under the playground there today. Creepy, I know, right?

I finished off my education at the other side of town, which, you can probably guess, is haunted too. Seminary Hall was an all girls school when Oklahoma was just Indian Territory, which today is part of Northeastern State University.

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Along with my college degree, I am trained as a Paramedic and hold certifications as a Certified Nurses Aid, Dental Assistant, x-ray technician, and level two Reiki healer.

My Passions

If I said ghosts you’d probably throw something at me. So I will attempt to keep my paranormal obsession under wraps long enough to share some of the alternate things that get me all fired up, in good ways. My hair, which I cut recently and have been crying over ever since. Kidding! I do regret cutting it though. I’m passionate in discovering amazing people, like Cassey Ho, my blogilates goddess – https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCIJwWYOfsCfz6PjxbONYXSg She has this entire section called Cheap Clean Eats that I love along with her workout videos. Lindsey Stirling is another – https://www.youtube.com/user/lindseystomp She’s amazing musician with the best energy. I’ve watched her from early on.

I’m so thankful to have been given this opportunity here on My Lovely Blog – Blog Tour. I’ve selected two indie authors that are as passionate about their writing as I am about my own and I hope you will continue on the journey of discovery with them.

Kate Givans is a very talented contemporary romance author and also from Oklahoma! Her Tortured Soul series is a must read. Here is her link – http://authorkategivans.com/

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J.M. Zuniga is another awesome indie author friend of mine who is not only a Young Adult Novelist, but an award-winning poet as well. Her latest book, Gwyneth, is another book that needs to hit your To Be Read list. Here is her link, enjoy – http://authorjmzuniga.blogspot.com/

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Thanks for stopping by… until next time. ❤

Let Your Heart Drive is available for pre-order!

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*Dances around madly* I am proud to announce my tenth novel which will be published this June. June 1, 2015 will be the release date, but you are able to pre-order it now!

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Just click the Amazon logo and you’re there!

As some of you may know this is my very first contemporary romance and I’m extremely excited about sharing this story with you. At least two years this couple (Sinead and Trey) have lingered with me and I have to say it was a bit difficult for me to write at first, only because I itched to write in a dash of paranormal or a pinch of supernatural. Believe me I felt the sudden urge to drop an Easter egg or two in the story and…maybe I did.  Now this is a standalone novel and a HEA. I hope my readers will enjoy it and if so, tell a friend or your dearest book buddy. ❤

Next – I want to announce my Crescent Bound Box set is out, yes, you can now have the entire Bound series in one! Book one through five – Crescent Bound (which is Free!) Raven Bound, Demon Bound, Shadow Bound, and Ice Bound all complied together to make the set complete.

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Since you’re here I want to let you in on a little secret, May 5th through May 7th I will have the Crescent Bound Box set on sale! So, be sure to mark your calendars.

I hope everyone has a phenomenal week and weekend. I am off to prepare Let Your Heart Drive in paperback and decide which story I will conquer next!

Deadwood Diner – part 6 final

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Copyright © 2015 Karli Rush

Mary Jane – ending scene

Keria begins to read us an article… “Deadwood Daily Press, Friday, May 4th, 1990. Tragedy struck late Thursday evening on Highway 13 just west of the Ma and Pa’s Diner. Two people died in an accident involving a pedestrian and the driver of the vehicle. It was reported that sixty-six year old, retired farmer, Raymond Thomson, left the diner approximately 8:41 p.m. driving westbound. Moments later he allegedly struck and killed twenty-three year old, Mary Jane Leland.  Mary Jane was struck from behind and was pronounced dead at the scene.

It is believed at this time that neither victim has a next of kin. Mr. Thompson is a widower with no known children and Ms. Leland was a local resident and had been a former patient at the Reidhaven Retreat.

It was not determined why Ms. Mary Jane Leland was on the road. She had been officially listed with the Deadwood Police Department as a missing persons, according to Sheriff Fletcher.”

Keria abruptly stops reading and inhales in a deep sadden breath. Leaving Rich and I on pins and needles.

“Keria? You still there?” Rich asks impatiently, worry creases his brows with each passing second. “Keria? Where did you find the article?”

Her breath breaks free like she held it for far too long, finally what seems like long exaggerated ear-ringing minutes stretch by, when in reality it’s probably no more than a few seconds she answers, “In the Heckman Horror’s file, Rich. She was one of the missing girls… and she was only two miles from Heckman’s house. Do you think…?”

“She was trying to make a run for it and this Raymond guy came out of nowhere and their paths incidentally collided? Yeah, I do Keria.”

“So… You and Jason just witnessed their death?”

He bobs his head lightly and glances at me. “Yeah,” he says it so quietly that I’m not sure Keria even heard him.

But her own softened voice drifts out of the diminutive speaker from his cell phone. “Well… are you guys going to sit all night at that abandoned diner or are you going to come home?”

“We’re on our way… see ya in a few,” he replies and grabs his cell from the dash. He presses end as he drives us closer to the discolored run-down diner, the closer we get to it, the more haunting it feels. Cold, arid, and unforgettably barren. The only thing that may out last this mystifying creepy town is the foundation, and the lost souls that exist here.

We drive back out onto the dank and misty highway and as we head home a silhouette of a woman emerges on the road. Her pale body contorted, shielding herself from the rain and sways with the wind. Her ghostly white face turns and stares right through us just we drive passed her, her eyes connect with mine and the radio suddenly serenades out a song by Tom Petty and the Heart breakers, ‘Mary Jane’s Last Dance’.

The End… for now.

My plan is to have an entire story about Mary Jane and her life living in the town of Deadwood, hopefully, sometime this Fall. I hope you enjoyed this short and feel free anytime to ask about any other stories I have available. I’m crawling back to my writer’s cave to continue writing Let Your Heart Drive – I hope everyone has a wonderfully wicked week! ❤